How to Deal with Missing Big Milestones
One of the biggest emotional stressors during COVID-19, or any other life crisis, is dealing with missing big milestones. How exactly can you deal with missing big milestones?
We all have goals and plans for ourselves. Most of these objectives are pretty specific, with anticipated jobs, projects, places, and years all thrown into the mix. You may have had many goals and significant milestones you expected to accomplish at specific points in life; unfortunately, everything didn’t work according to your plans. Most often, these shocks and disappointments in life are real and occur at the time we don’t expect.
As you get older, you sometimes find yourself wondering if you’ll finally reach these goals or achieve that dream. Your inner voice may tell you that you’re going to delay these achievements in case they don’t come true soon.
However, regardless of the big milestones that seem to be missing, learn not to be so hard on yourself. After all, expectations don’t always match the anticipated reality. Dealing with missing big milestones is hard, but don’t put the blame on yourself!
Feelings are an essential part of our daily life. This means there is absolutely no problem expressing your feelings regardless of how good or bad it may be.
However, it’s unfortunate that many people still shy away from their feelings, often out of fear of expression. Giving your emotions a free-range and allowing them to take control of your life is one big mistake. Feelings allow us to have a better understanding of our environment, relationships, and milestones in our lives.
Studies have shown that having emotions such as anger and contempt, which were initially deemed “bad,” are not necessarily the case. There are times when it’s okay to express your anger, especially when you observe any form of injustice.
However, these should not mean that you keep expressing anger and contempt all the time as you will be doing yourself more harm by bottling such emotions. It’s quite important to assess yourself at every time, and especially during these hard moments, the world is being shaken by the COVID-19 pandemic. The ability to manage your healthy emotional reaction is crucial in dealing with missing milestones. Read on to learn how to deal with missing big milestones.
Here are 6 tips on dealing with missing big milestones:
1. Identify and examine your feelings
What are your feelings? Are you sad, frustrated, or happy? There are varieties of emotions you can resort to when thinking about your feelings. We are all going through a devastating economic crisis because of Corona Virus disease, and our projects and plans have probably been halted. What are you doing to tolerate the state that you’re currently in? What do you think or feel about the future?
Of course, some emotions clearly define your current feelings; it could be that you’re frustrated, grumpy, annoyed, regretful, disappointed, or pessimistic. So take time to examine and control your specific feeling because it not only distract milestones but also affect your mental health.
2. Validate your feelings
Why are you feeling this emotion? There are several reasons that account for your feelings. If you’re disappointed, is it because your big investment has fallen during the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, or a lawsuit is restricting you from carrying out your business? Is there a significant project that you have not completed?
These and other related issues bring you into this feeling. It is okay for you to feel this way and feel disappointed about things or situations you cannot evade in life. It’s important that you take your time to understand why you feel and accept these emotions.
3. Celebrate the milestone in an alternative and safe way
After you’ve identified, examined, and validated your feelings, think about the best way to address it. Bad emotions can negatively impact your thoughts and blind you from seeing the reality part of life. So always try to respond to them after taking the time to process your feelings.
If, in any case, you find it hard to handle such feelings, you may need more time to meditate before you separate your thoughts from your emotions to see the situation better. Doing so will help you appreciate the far you’ve gone in accomplishing your big milestones in life. Remember celebrating your little success regardless of challenges is a gateway of progression amid your wanting situation.
4. Connect with other people going through the same experiences
Even if connecting with others is something you’re not good at to today, it would be prudent learning how to do it to become better tomorrow. Your depression is a mental illness that may not necessarily draw attention even from people within your circle. It often happens that your problems are not related to theirs in any way. But this should not be a reason to keep quiet about things that are distressing and preventing your from accomplishing your big milestones in life.
Having a good attitude and learning how to connect with people you share the same experience is a giant step in making your life easier and happier.
5. Don’t say your loss is insignificant!
Do you remember how you work so hard to make sure your ends meet? The far you’ve come isn’t a journey to take for granted. As we look all look around, we see what’s going on in the world. How much suffering and misery the larger population is currently going through?
Well, everyone is wondering if anything is promising with the COVID-19 pandemic. Now it’s clear that moving forward is not a collective illusion to believe in as the world is unfolding its ugliest aspects on its way down. Saying that it is not a big deal or that you shouldn’t be complaining will only show your ignorance.
If your big plans seem to be collapsing for one reason or another, don’t live a life of quiet desperation but instead count the cost and pay the price. Keep in mind that you will again come out strong as there is no permanent situation.
Why you should not be sad about missing milestones:
Besides many other factors that have halted our essential plans, the larger population are now missing or suspending important events in their lives because of COVID-19. Some of the commonly affected events include:
- Graduation from learning institutions
- Taking a vacation in a different country
- Seeking treatment abroad
- Senior year celebrations
- Semester studying abroad
- Birthday trips and baby showers
There are times of great hope for those willing to do more despite the trial-to be able to rise above all this and bring in a brighter cycle. While most of the people have now canceled their vacations, some are adopting new normal lifestyle-celebrating big life events alone at home. This condition is truly heartbreaking, but you should remember that:
- Your feelings of loss are still valid
- You are not selfish for having such feelings
- It’s okay to grieve those once-in-a-lifetime events
- You are not alone in this struggle
Why you should not worry about missed milestones:
Learning to accept missing Milestones is actually an essential thing regardless of our priorities in life. It will be a total waste of time to compare yourself to someone you thought you’d be by now. Thus, if you’ve not achieve that specific goal of owning a home or new car by the time you’re 30, don’t refer such matter as a failure in life.
When you lose on something, remember you’ll live to fight another day. You will be able to reach that milestone later, might happen just in a different way you least expect. Keep in mind that something can only come out from nowhere, and your plans may not materialize as you had predicted.
The crazy game of life vs. dealing with missing big milestones:
When life isn’t going as you had projected, it okay to take a step back and try focusing on what is right for you. So instead of worrying more about your career goals and the big milestones you haven’t yet achieved, it’s more gratifying to be thankful for things you already have in hand. After all, there’s no guarantee that you’ll get everything you look forward to achieve in life.
The little things you’ve worked so hard to attain in the past may not be enough but can assure you a happy life overall. If you’re privilege to make a breakthrough amid compromising situation, then focus on it to reach the milestones you’ve always wanted.
Setting your goals on the path that is beyond your capability may be the reason you’re missing your milestones. But since life is dynamic, you’ll always find yourself with different ideas and perceptions as you grow up.
For instance, a given individual can achieve a particular goal at age 35, a milestone that was impossible to achieve at age 25. Similarly, a specific goal may turn out to be different over time, and that is also okay. In a nutshell, don’t let your feeling take control of you or feel like a failure when you fail to reach certain milestones along the way. You’ve probably accomplished many or little things that you should be thankful for as you continue working towards other dreams.
